Symptoms of Garden Lunacy

1. You don’t covet your neighbor’s spouse; you covet your neighbor’s plants.

2. You go to a garden center to spend $5 for things you don’t need, but end up spending $305 for things you don’t need.

3. You spend more money on your garden than your clothes, and you look it!

4. You think non-gardeners are odd enough to merit their own taxonomic classification.

5. You think “blues” refer to a type of ribbon, not a type of song.

6. You refuse to go on vacation during planting season.

7. You think deer crossing signs are notices of opportunity, not hazard.

8. You invite total strangers to see your backyard, but not your relatives.

9. You think the scent of cow manure is better than the scent of Este Lauder.

10. You no longer own house and garden plants; they own you.

And, many more in Garden Lunacy: A Growing Concern.   
Copyright ©2003 by Art Wolk. All rights reserved.